I originally wrote these “poems” as an attempt to do dark humor, but so far, I only got sad reacts. What a sorry state of affairs, I thought people would laugh and enjoy.

Anyway, these are written from the perspective of honest and outspoken Bhakt. 

 

Haha

I never liked secularism

Never will

It is a speed breaker

For my religious bigotry

I keep finding excuses

To show how it's flawed

But what I really want?

Is a Hindu Rashtra

 

If my mind breaks down

I don't stop

I never seek help

I am atamnirbhar

I do the complete opposite

I seek more psychosis

To satisfy my primal ego (or an urge?)

 

When they hoisted a religious flag

On the red fort

I couldn't argue, that they shouldn't have

Because we are secular?

I don't believe in secular

We like to do the same all the time

Anyone who can, try!

But hahaha we are the majority

And we all think alike

Those who don't are stupid liberals

Or commies, anti-national, whatever

 

There's nothing better

No greater cause

Than communalism

It's great entertainment

Because there definitely is

A God or Gods

And they all speak to us all

Tell us to wage wars

On their behalf

Take offense, protect them

Carry them in our pockets

Use their names for our rockets

What a cute poem I wrote

Awww....hahahahaha

Akhand Hindu Rashtra!

Is the way to go

…………………………………………………….

 

 

Dude

I was thinking

Why do we pretend?

In front of these librandus

That we have a conscience

Bro, the only thing that matter

Is the surge of the master race

Our race, not the others (angry emoji)

 

I mean look at the British

They got rich from colonies

Look at the Americans

They had slaves

Look at Hitler (goosebumps)

He didn't give a flying fuck

Dude greatness is only achieved

At the expense of others

Why be embarrassed?

Let's blame it on human nature

 

If that doesn't work

We fall back to carnivores predators

Hahaha

Lions don't give a fuck about

Gazelles, zebras or wildebeest

 

Che che che we don't eat meat

But the exact same paneer

From 56 star hotel

Is called fancy cheese

(Don't forget a selfie)

 

I agree, grill them librandus

If they speak against capitalism

But they are also

Not all communist (sad emoji)

I for one

Don't want to waste any more

Of my energy

pretending we care (smirk emoji)

 

Look, we have the absolute power

Media and everything

We have our finger on the pulse of

this country - religious pride

And...It's fucking fragility

Wink Wink

Nationalism by the way

Is a great toolkit (grin emoji)

 

It's killa or be killed

We all gangsta

It's all cool

It's just a thought

They can argue against our true nature

If we come out properly (Yogi4pm)

But we are the absolute majority

 

Lolololol we sneaked in

Mob mentality in their democracy

But in the end, it's all just philosophy

The bar must be lowered at every

Primetime TV

It should be sunk so low

It becomes the new normality

We are making it more difficult

Than it has to be

There's nothing that can stop us

Fascism is meant to be

………………………………………………………………………………….

 

Oh...Greta Greta Greta

You say it's a toolkit

We know better

You can't fool us with

Foolkit

By fool I don't mean a flower

You don't know our power!

 

Fool is what is left after body burns

Just kidding it's all fun

 

Forget about the climate

It's already hot.....you time waste

 

But seriously

You are no stranger to the death threats

Omg we love it, it makes our chaddis wet

 

Back to the foolkit

You will not fool us with an angry face

We fish mullahs with Arnab's hate

 

Go back to the school

Your bunk is over

I will shit on your climate

With my orange bulldozer

 

Our anchors will compare

Sweden's army with ours

Your teeth…will be real sour

You will say Sorry like Justin Bieber

In Modi we trust, he's a real keeper.

…………………………………………………………

 

 

Haha

You lose librandus

Keep laughing at our

Prideful ignorance

Religious bigotry

Intolerance

Even our terrorism

Our poor English

But we still win

You lose

You are not even

Rich in money

You think your

Superior intellect

Vast knowledge

Sense of humor

Can win you war?

Hahaha

Bunch of librandus

You can’t even band together

Our common hatred and

Lying asses are bonded

With herd mentality

 

Yeah my poem

Can’t even rhyme

But I have destroyed

Any chance you have

For “success”

Write your essays

And jokes

We will see

Your surname first

If it's Muslim or Christian

Then…it matters None

Whatever you say

Baam…your credibility

Is done

As for you atheist fuckers

And over-educated librandus

No one even understands you

You intellectually elitist gandus

 

Hahaha

I am so sorry

You can’t even look

At the news channels now

You may see them ironically

Once in a while

But you can’t digest

The poison

You think it’s cheap

Disgusting and vile

Newsflash librandus

That’s what the majority likes

We hacked into every aspect

Of democracy

While you can complain

Who’s gonna listen?

We are the motherfucking authority

(Respect our authoritah)

 

With one stroke of a dialogue

Modi nai toh kon?

We destroyed your entire

Foothold in politics

Go ahead crack jokes

Looking at failures of the man

And tell a dog would have been better

But when it comes to vote

People vote for the power

You can’t project that

It needs guts to be a villain

We know we are just as bad

As jihadis

We are gangsta

We can issue death threats

Incite riots, kill you

Without consequences

And we can haul your

Ass to jail if we think

you can be a trouble

That’s power

Lizard brains jerk off to

 

Find yourself a fucking

Hobbit and a mage and

A dwarf and whatever

You nerds are into

If you think a small dude

Can change the world n shit

Make him a whole party

But you can’t become

A centipede, like BJP

In your dreams

And in your face

 

Who else? Is your savior?

Gen Z? Kid me not

They will turn

Bigots too when they grow up

We will troll to make sure of that

Do you think you can too?

Jail awaits you

 

Do you know what you should do?

Write big books to “disprove”

Friedrich Nietzsche

Tell me first

Who’s gonna read them?

Lesser librandus?

Actually, that might work

Forget I said anything

But….you do think

Some are big brain big librandus

Others are small-time?

Okay…great, we will take them

That’s how we see humanity

 

You know what

I am gonna sing a song

To your loser ass in advance

 

You tried so hard

Nihilist, Introverts, middle classes librandus, and “apoliticals”

Stayed so far (from polling booths)

In the end…it doesn’t really matter

Nai?

…………………….......................................

 

 

My daddy once left for cigarettes

He never came back

I look up to you, I worship you

You are a father to us all

We have absolute trust in you dwag

 

You are our savior

No man can ever be

The greatest leader

The world has never seen

You rock hardcore

You make all others

Look like softcore

 

Your beard glitter in the sun

It gives us hope

It gives us STRENGTH

We were so lost

Now we are back at home

Forgive me if I ever sin

I will throw all my pornos

In dustbin

I pray to you, I pray your name

I am your bhakt

I am at your command

What is it that you demand?

I will bring all anti-nationals

to your feet or ask them to leave.